[ During moments like this, Kalim has to come to terms with the fact that he's possibly not an excellent judge of character, nor is he incredibly adept in gauging expectations.
The expectation, after all, is that Jamil will snap at him. Banish Kalim from his room. Forget entirely about his drowning threats in favor of stewing. NOT that he will calmly drop a bag of towels onto Kalim's stomach, and then scoop them -- Kalim and all -- up into his arms.
An undignified squawk turns quickly into laughter while Kalim throws his arms around Jamil's shoulders (it feels a little unsteady, really, he just needs something to cling onto so that he doesn't squirm himself right into falling out if Jamil's arms). But that all comes with its own sort of complications; Jamil's hair is soft under Kalim's hands, and it smells so nice. And secretly, silently, maybe Kalim is a little ecstatic about having Jamil's arms around him in any capacity, even if he's going to perish shortly for his troubles.
...he can blame his blush on the laughter, if Jamil even comments on it. ]
[Commenting on the blush would mean that Jamil might have to acknowledge that Kalim's reaction - the squawk, the laughter, the way Kalim threw his arms around him - made him want to blush. This was a mistake. He hadn't, somehow, anticipated Kalim enjoying it.
But dropping him would mean revealing his disquieted he was by Kalim's reaction, or something, and so the only thing Jamil can do is shift his grip to make Kalim a bit more comfortable and secure in his arms, or...something.]
Careful, Kalim. If you move around too much then we both might end up falling over.
[...or...something.]
And if you knock us both over there's no words for how angry I'll be.
[...or...something, all of this might be a little bit undermined by the fact he's striding onward, Kalim in his arms. Sooner or later he'll get tired, but hopefully they'll reach the fountain, the kitchen for two coconuts to go, or find Carpet before that happens.]
Do you need anything before we go? [To drown you.]
[ And damned if Kalim doesn't sound so incredibly chipper about it. That may have something to do with his current position, though. How could he not enjoy it? Even after everything, there's no fear in him where Jamil is concerned. Jamil didn't harm him then, so he certainly won't now. This is just-- how he is. What he does. Pretends. So Kalim can indulge it, and pretend right along with him.
...it shouldn't thrill Kalim this much, that Jamil can haul him right off the couch like this. Cart him around, toss him around. But it does. Maybe Kalim really has no capacity for self-preservation. ]
[There's a temptation to ask Kalim why, merciful sands, why was he so happy, and Jamil knew that he'd hate the answer to that question and so he carefully kept from asking it. Instead, he sighed. Exasperated. Tired. Beleaguered. Shaking his head. Kalim an eternal mystery.
He detoured towards the kitchen so they could pick up two fresh coconuts. (Once they arrived at the oasis he could use his magic to chill them and knock off the tops, but that would be then.)]
Also, we're studying for that test you have when we get back. [Just in case Kalim thought that he was getting off easy for his sins of 1. the breakfast party, and 2. taking the threat of drowning/waterboarding/getting aggressively soggy lightly. He's not.]
[ The coconuts go in the bag, nestled carefully with the towels, before Kalim whistles for Carpet. Of course, that's never a sure thing. Carpet is a free spirit; he does what he wants, and answers to the whim of neither man nor beast. But he does seem to like Kalim enough to help him out most of the time. So thankfully, no camels or walking for them! Carpet drifts into the kitchen a few moments later, and parks himself at knee level for them. ]
[Normally, there was a way this went, which was basically that Kalim would get on Carpet first, and then Jamil would follow. Obviously, that was difficult with Kalim in his arms. And there was an obvious solution, which was to put Kalim down.
But, Jamil had picked up Kalim, carried him into the kitchen, and then continued to hold Kalim while Kalim grabbed two coconuts and put them in the bag. He had committed. He couldn't back down now. There was only one choice.]
You're in a good mood.
[Which was to get on Carpet while holding Kalim, which had the unintended side effect of basically putting Kalim in his lap once he sat down, but Jamil told himself that the two of them had done far worse in the past (when they were...seven, maybe, but still) and this wasn't anything new for the two of them. Besides. Kalim was in a good mood.]
[ Though once again, this is a great deal different than when they were children. They were carelessly close back then, and that purpose simply makes things a bit more-- Well.
If Kalim is in Jamil's lap anyway, if Carpet is drifting through the window and out of easy view of the dorm, if Jamil's arms remain around Kalim anyway... Circumstances being what they are, surely Kalim can't be held accountable for pressing his forehead to Jamil's neck. Just for a moment, and it could almost be called affectionate, but it's short-lived. There's a clear sky to stare at, after all, and he has to lift his head away from Jamil's shoulder for that. ]
[Well, see, if he lets go of Kalim? Given how badly balanced Kalim is, being on his lap instead on Carpet, he might fall if Carpet has to make a sudden turn. And given how Jamil had committed to throwing Kalim into the nearest body of water, he couldn't exactly expect Kalim to sit patiently and wait for that. (Except Kalim was absolutely strong enough to squirm free if he wanted to, and Jamil knew it, and he knew he was lying to himself if he pretended things were otherwise.)
The wind is nice.]
...it's a nice day.
[He let go of Kalim in favor of leaning back on Carpet, arms behind his back, staring up at the sky. (This may or may not have the side effect of him staring up at the sky, instead of at Kalim, but...well. As long as he doesn't feel Kalim sliding off of Carpet, this is for the best.)]
I'm in a good mood too. I'm looking forward to you breakfast party tomorrow. [And just in case Kalim thought he got off lightly...] And I'm looking forward to drowning you in the oasis in a few minutes.
[ Wholehearted agreement, as if Jamil were simply commenting on the weather and party, rather than the addition of Kalim's untimely demise. But in case Jamil was able to forget how selectively reckless Kalim tends to be, he'll be reminded the second his arms aren't around Kalim any longer. ]
Oh no~ Jami~l...
[ It's badly-feigned panic; enough to almost be playful when he melts dramatically over Jamil's lap. A leg is precariously dangling from one side of Carpet, Kalim's head hanging off the other. ]
You better hold on to me! You can't let me plummet to my death right before you get to drown me!
[ Kalim is in absolutely no danger. He's fallen off Carpet exactly one time in his entire life, and Carpet caught him before he hit the ground. He is, perhaps, a bit too secure in that knowledge. ]
Absolutely not. [And that should be that, but...what if Kalim misjudged things, what if he did slip, what if things went badly, what if Carpet couldn't catch Kalim in time, what if his magic wasn't good enough, what if what if what if. And so on. Feelings are complicated. Wanting to hold a boy close and keep him from the world, have him as the one thing just for him, only for him...versus wanting to take that same boy and throw him into the nearest oasis repeatedly.
Feelings are complicated!]
Sometimes I feel like I spoil you too much. [Sigh. But, not quite looking at Kalim, Jamil offers him a hand, saying without saying for Kalim to rearrange himself so he can get back to holding him as he's not going to pick him up while Carpet's flying.]
[ Which is to say, yes. As with many people in Kalim's life, Jamil is guilty of spoiling him far too much. Kalim has wanted for nothing in his life, yet somehow he still knows how to get exactly what he's angling for. Case in point? Now he has Jamil's hand and silent beckon, and continuing to be held was the only thing Kalim wanted from the start of this entire endeavor. Game, set, match, or something. All according to plan.
Kalim isn't a subtle sort of schemer, but let it never be said he's ineffective. It's the difference between a cobra in the high grass and an explosion in the dunes. Either way, the target's eliminated.
What target? Who knows. Kalim hauls himself up again easily enough, and situates himself a little more comfortably than he'd been before. His lower back rests over Jamil's crossed legs, shoulders to his chest, and head pillowed just above his clavicle. Cozy, if Kalim had to put a word to it. (He rarely does, purely out of necessity. If he starts talking too much about it, it's impossible to predict what Jamil would do. They can't even talk about menagerie discussions normally.) ]
[It's difficult dealing with Kalim, sometimes, because he's so...unsubtle. If he said something like, "Do you want to be held by me this badly?" Kalim might just point blank say yes, yes he did. What was he supposed to do with that? He didn't know what to do with that. That isn't how people were supposed to respond to him.
But, it's fine. Kalim's leaning on him again, and it's...cozy, even though he'd never admit that to Kalim, if he admitted he found it cozy who knew what Kalim would do. (It would be cozier if you laid down whispered a small, traitorous part of him that Jamil promptly ignored.)]
If you get too comfortable you won't want to get off when we arrive.
[Even so, there he is, his hand idly making its way into Kalim's hair, rubbing patterns in his scalp.] The point of all of this is still for me to drown you eventually.
[ It is so utterly, depressingly difficult to care about the oasis, or the sun, or leaving carpet, or drowning to death, while Jamil's fingers are in his hair. It should be alarming. Jamil really could lead him into any manner of gruesome end, and Jamil would go willingly. Happily. So long as Jamil rubs his head on the way there.
Jamil's rarely seen him this content, and that's a feat in and of itself. Kalim is remarkably unfettered, but he's rarely relaxed. Yet here he is, eyes drifting shut through a sweet smile and a soft sigh. Maybe this was the trick all along; Kalim's OFF switch. No thoughts, just vibes. ]
[...what is he supposed to do with this, what is he supposed to do with a very relaxed Kalim in his arms, how is he supposed to deal with a Kalim in his arms, Jamil doesn't know how to deal with Kalim in his arms.]
Eventually.
[Feels like he's going to need to use the towels to mop up Kalim at the rate he's relaxing, becoming boneless, melting in his arms.
And so.
Even though this was a bad idea.
Despite the fact his every instinct was yelling at him to not do this.
Despite all of the very good reasons to remain sitting, Jamil very carefully, very slowly, very reluctantly, laid down, rubbing Kalim's scalp the entire time as he did so, and if, perhaps, Kalim was so inclined he could lie down on top of him. Maybe.]
[ Eventually. Agreement. And then Jamil is ever-so-carefully adjusting himself to lie down on carpet. Kalim, boneless pile of relaxed mush that he is right now, can't be expected to do anything but lay over Jamil when he settles. It's nothing lascivious, nothing presumptive. He doesn't leap at it, but he doesn't shy away either. He simply shifts when Jamil slips down beneath him, and cozies himself more comfortably over Jamil's side.
Something about this feels so right. Better than it has any right to feel. Kalim's head has nestled itself comfortably on Jamil's shoulder, arm draped over his stomach, hand resting on his chest, one leg tangled over and beneath one of Jamil's. He could fall asleep like this. And wouldn't that make it easier for Jamil to drown him in the oasis? ]
[There's something to be said about how naturally Kalim settles down atop him...but Jamil's not going to be the one to say something about it. It's not eager. Kalim isn't eager, though he isn't reluctant, either. He has the unhurried pace of someone settling in somewhere he's always belonged at.
One arm slips about and holds Kalim: snug, but not too snug.]
You don't have to worry about that. Carpet would catch us.
[ Of that, Kalim is absolutely certain. Carpet likes them. Why would it let its friends plummet to their death?
It's hard not to notice how nice Jamil smells when they're curled this close to one another, harder still to escape the notice that his hair looks immaculately soft. Kalim's fingertips itch to touch, but his hand is slow to shift, creeping up Jamil's chest until he can curl his fore and middle fingers around a wayward bit of that silky hair. It is soft. And now he'll never want to stop touching it. ]
Is this okay?
[ Toying with Jamil's hair, he means. But if Jamil were to interpret it differently, no one would blame him. ]
[Hair, curling up like he's a cat, the fact that they're on carpet and Jamil's got the sinking suspicion that he's neither going to get around to drowning Kalim nor that they'll get around to studying...really? He's not sure what, specifically, Kalim is talking about, but...whatever Kalim's talking about is fine. For once.]
Unless Ace flies by on a broom solely to point and laugh, or something along those lines happens, I'm fine.
[ Which is strange in and of itself, now that Kalim stops to consider it. They know everything about each other, don't they? They've been together for so long, one would think it would've come up before now. But here's something new. Here, on the other side of complete chaos and a redefinition of everything they've ever meant to one another, suddenly there are new things to learn.
And Jamil only becomes more incredible with each new thing Kalim learns about him.
So, even though I'm fine is sometimes a double-edged sword, Kalim takes his chances. His fingers wind slowly up this little skein of Jamil's hair, until they're far enough over to comb through and bring more over his shoulder. An ample amount to delicately thread his fingers through, root to tip, like Kalim were petting a particularly ornery cat instead of his best friend's hair. ]
Does Najma ever play with your hair when you're home? I don't even have that much, and the little ones still like to stick bows in it.
[Usually being the important word there, usually being the word doing a bunch of heavy lifting in this sentence. Usually implying all sorts of things, most of which Jamil isn't going to talk about unless he's absolutely forced to, and not for the first time is he glad that Kalim doesn't have some kind of truth-compelling spell. Water magic doesn't demand honesty.]
And I try not to let Najma near my hair. When we were younger it was a different story. She liked to play with my hair, and I usually did her hair for her. But now...
[Now she's got the power to do his hair in a silly way, take pictures, and send it to Kalim, absolutely not.]
Well, just let me know if you want me to stop. I promise I'll be gentle!
[ To that end, he's only been gentle. Careful, in a way Kalim never used to be. Idly stroking Jamil's hair, drifting higher and higher, until Kalim's fingertips can sink themselves into slow circles over his scalp instead. ]
It always feels nice when you do this for me. It's only fair to return the favor, right?
[Jamil says, shifting his grip around Kalim to pull him in a little bit tighter, his eyes fluttering shut, a certain tension melting from his shoulders the more Kalim rubs, his head even leaning slightly into Kalim's touch. He supposes it might be just a little bit nice. Just a bit.]
But you don't need to return the favor, you know.
[Even if all signs point to Kalim having a tough time if he tries to wiggle loose.]
[ Kalim chirps this answer, as if that's not the casual admission that he just wants to touch Jamil. Just because. Not because he's obligated to, but because Jamil's hair is soft, and he deserves to feel good. That's all the reason he needs.
Never mind that it seems to have the incidental effect of Jamil holding him more tightly still. That's just an added bonus. ]
Just let me pet your hair before you drown me, okay?
[And just like that, the spell is...kind of...broken. His eyes open again. He stares at Kalim. He absolutely does nothing to stop Kalim from playing with his hair. There's no movement to keep him from playing with his hair. In the event Kalim moves his hand away, Jamil would even make a slightly offended noise. Not deliberately, but it would seep out before he can stop it.
But his eyes are open again.]
I was starting to think that you forgot about me drowning you.
[ They're-- Are they cuddling? The realization dawns on Kalim like a freight train collision, and his fingers tremble -- still, for a fraction of a second -- while his face flushes deep and hot. They're cuddling. On Carpet. Jamil is holding him, Kalim is laying on him, playing with his hair. This seems so... normal. Especially for them. After all the turmoil, here they are. ]
Thank you. This is really nice.
[ It comes out before Kalim can stop it. So as long as he's leaning into brutal honesty...
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The expectation, after all, is that Jamil will snap at him. Banish Kalim from his room. Forget entirely about his drowning threats in favor of stewing. NOT that he will calmly drop a bag of towels onto Kalim's stomach, and then scoop them -- Kalim and all -- up into his arms.
An undignified squawk turns quickly into laughter while Kalim throws his arms around Jamil's shoulders (it feels a little unsteady, really, he just needs something to cling onto so that he doesn't squirm himself right into falling out if Jamil's arms). But that all comes with its own sort of complications; Jamil's hair is soft under Kalim's hands, and it smells so nice. And secretly, silently, maybe Kalim is a little ecstatic about having Jamil's arms around him in any capacity, even if he's going to perish shortly for his troubles.
...he can blame his blush on the laughter, if Jamil even comments on it. ]
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But dropping him would mean revealing his disquieted he was by Kalim's reaction, or something, and so the only thing Jamil can do is shift his grip to make Kalim a bit more comfortable and secure in his arms, or...something.]
Careful, Kalim. If you move around too much then we both might end up falling over.
[...or...something.]
And if you knock us both over there's no words for how angry I'll be.
[...or...something, all of this might be a little bit undermined by the fact he's striding onward, Kalim in his arms. Sooner or later he'll get tired, but hopefully they'll reach the fountain, the kitchen for two coconuts to go, or find Carpet before that happens.]
Do you need anything before we go? [To drown you.]
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No! You can carry me to my doom!
[ And damned if Kalim doesn't sound so incredibly chipper about it. That may have something to do with his current position, though. How could he not enjoy it? Even after everything, there's no fear in him where Jamil is concerned. Jamil didn't harm him then, so he certainly won't now. This is just-- how he is. What he does. Pretends. So Kalim can indulge it, and pretend right along with him.
...it shouldn't thrill Kalim this much, that Jamil can haul him right off the couch like this. Cart him around, toss him around. But it does. Maybe Kalim really has no capacity for self-preservation. ]
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He detoured towards the kitchen so they could pick up two fresh coconuts. (Once they arrived at the oasis he could use his magic to chill them and knock off the tops, but that would be then.)]
Where's Carpet? [Otherwise they're stuck taking a camel or, horrors, walking.]
Also, we're studying for that test you have when we get back. [Just in case Kalim thought that he was getting off easy for his sins of 1. the breakfast party, and 2. taking the threat of drowning/waterboarding/getting aggressively soggy lightly. He's not.]
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[ The coconuts go in the bag, nestled carefully with the towels, before Kalim whistles for Carpet. Of course, that's never a sure thing. Carpet is a free spirit; he does what he wants, and answers to the whim of neither man nor beast. But he does seem to like Kalim enough to help him out most of the time. So thankfully, no camels or walking for them! Carpet drifts into the kitchen a few moments later, and parks himself at knee level for them. ]
The chariot to my watery death awaits!
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But, Jamil had picked up Kalim, carried him into the kitchen, and then continued to hold Kalim while Kalim grabbed two coconuts and put them in the bag. He had committed. He couldn't back down now. There was only one choice.]
You're in a good mood.
[Which was to get on Carpet while holding Kalim, which had the unintended side effect of basically putting Kalim in his lap once he sat down, but Jamil told himself that the two of them had done far worse in the past (when they were...seven, maybe, but still) and this wasn't anything new for the two of them. Besides. Kalim was in a good mood.]
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[ Though once again, this is a great deal different than when they were children. They were carelessly close back then, and that purpose simply makes things a bit more-- Well.
If Kalim is in Jamil's lap anyway, if Carpet is drifting through the window and out of easy view of the dorm, if Jamil's arms remain around Kalim anyway... Circumstances being what they are, surely Kalim can't be held accountable for pressing his forehead to Jamil's neck. Just for a moment, and it could almost be called affectionate, but it's short-lived. There's a clear sky to stare at, after all, and he has to lift his head away from Jamil's shoulder for that. ]
Aren't you?
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The wind is nice.]
...it's a nice day.
[He let go of Kalim in favor of leaning back on Carpet, arms behind his back, staring up at the sky. (This may or may not have the side effect of him staring up at the sky, instead of at Kalim, but...well. As long as he doesn't feel Kalim sliding off of Carpet, this is for the best.)]
I'm in a good mood too. I'm looking forward to you breakfast party tomorrow. [And just in case Kalim thought he got off lightly...] And I'm looking forward to drowning you in the oasis in a few minutes.
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[ Wholehearted agreement, as if Jamil were simply commenting on the weather and party, rather than the addition of Kalim's untimely demise. But in case Jamil was able to forget how selectively reckless Kalim tends to be, he'll be reminded the second his arms aren't around Kalim any longer. ]
Oh no~ Jami~l...
[ It's badly-feigned panic; enough to almost be playful when he melts dramatically over Jamil's lap. A leg is precariously dangling from one side of Carpet, Kalim's head hanging off the other. ]
You better hold on to me! You can't let me plummet to my death right before you get to drown me!
[ Kalim is in absolutely no danger. He's fallen off Carpet exactly one time in his entire life, and Carpet caught him before he hit the ground. He is, perhaps, a bit too secure in that knowledge. ]
Quick, catch me before I fa~ll...
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Feelings are complicated!]
Sometimes I feel like I spoil you too much. [Sigh. But, not quite looking at Kalim, Jamil offers him a hand, saying without saying for Kalim to rearrange himself so he can get back to holding him as he's not going to pick him up while Carpet's flying.]
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[ Which is to say, yes. As with many people in Kalim's life, Jamil is guilty of spoiling him far too much. Kalim has wanted for nothing in his life, yet somehow he still knows how to get exactly what he's angling for. Case in point? Now he has Jamil's hand and silent beckon, and continuing to be held was the only thing Kalim wanted from the start of this entire endeavor. Game, set, match, or something. All according to plan.
Kalim isn't a subtle sort of schemer, but let it never be said he's ineffective. It's the difference between a cobra in the high grass and an explosion in the dunes. Either way, the target's eliminated.
What target? Who knows. Kalim hauls himself up again easily enough, and situates himself a little more comfortably than he'd been before. His lower back rests over Jamil's crossed legs, shoulders to his chest, and head pillowed just above his clavicle. Cozy, if Kalim had to put a word to it. (He rarely does, purely out of necessity. If he starts talking too much about it, it's impossible to predict what Jamil would do. They can't even talk about menagerie discussions normally.) ]
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But, it's fine. Kalim's leaning on him again, and it's...cozy, even though he'd never admit that to Kalim, if he admitted he found it cozy who knew what Kalim would do. (It would be cozier if you laid down whispered a small, traitorous part of him that Jamil promptly ignored.)]
If you get too comfortable you won't want to get off when we arrive.
[Even so, there he is, his hand idly making its way into Kalim's hair, rubbing patterns in his scalp.] The point of all of this is still for me to drown you eventually.
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Jamil's rarely seen him this content, and that's a feat in and of itself. Kalim is remarkably unfettered, but he's rarely relaxed. Yet here he is, eyes drifting shut through a sweet smile and a soft sigh. Maybe this was the trick all along; Kalim's OFF switch. No thoughts, just vibes. ]
Mmhmm!
[ Kalim is melting. ]
Eventually.
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Eventually.
[Feels like he's going to need to use the towels to mop up Kalim at the rate he's relaxing, becoming boneless, melting in his arms.
And so.
Even though this was a bad idea.
Despite the fact his every instinct was yelling at him to not do this.
Despite all of the very good reasons to remain sitting, Jamil very carefully, very slowly, very reluctantly, laid down, rubbing Kalim's scalp the entire time as he did so, and if, perhaps, Kalim was so inclined he could lie down on top of him. Maybe.]
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Something about this feels so right. Better than it has any right to feel. Kalim's head has nestled itself comfortably on Jamil's shoulder, arm draped over his stomach, hand resting on his chest, one leg tangled over and beneath one of Jamil's. He could fall asleep like this. And wouldn't that make it easier for Jamil to drown him in the oasis? ]
Could just stay like this. Comfy~...
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One arm slips about and holds Kalim: snug, but not too snug.]
What will you do if one of us falls off?
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[ Of that, Kalim is absolutely certain. Carpet likes them. Why would it let its friends plummet to their death?
It's hard not to notice how nice Jamil smells when they're curled this close to one another, harder still to escape the notice that his hair looks immaculately soft. Kalim's fingertips itch to touch, but his hand is slow to shift, creeping up Jamil's chest until he can curl his fore and middle fingers around a wayward bit of that silky hair. It is soft. And now he'll never want to stop touching it. ]
Is this okay?
[ Toying with Jamil's hair, he means. But if Jamil were to interpret it differently, no one would blame him. ]
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[Hair, curling up like he's a cat, the fact that they're on carpet and Jamil's got the sinking suspicion that he's neither going to get around to drowning Kalim nor that they'll get around to studying...really? He's not sure what, specifically, Kalim is talking about, but...whatever Kalim's talking about is fine. For once.]
Unless Ace flies by on a broom solely to point and laugh, or something along those lines happens, I'm fine.
[Whatever...it is, but still.]
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[ Which is strange in and of itself, now that Kalim stops to consider it. They know everything about each other, don't they? They've been together for so long, one would think it would've come up before now. But here's something new. Here, on the other side of complete chaos and a redefinition of everything they've ever meant to one another, suddenly there are new things to learn.
And Jamil only becomes more incredible with each new thing Kalim learns about him.
So, even though I'm fine is sometimes a double-edged sword, Kalim takes his chances. His fingers wind slowly up this little skein of Jamil's hair, until they're far enough over to comb through and bring more over his shoulder. An ample amount to delicately thread his fingers through, root to tip, like Kalim were petting a particularly ornery cat instead of his best friend's hair. ]
Does Najma ever play with your hair when you're home? I don't even have that much, and the little ones still like to stick bows in it.
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[Usually being the important word there, usually being the word doing a bunch of heavy lifting in this sentence. Usually implying all sorts of things, most of which Jamil isn't going to talk about unless he's absolutely forced to, and not for the first time is he glad that Kalim doesn't have some kind of truth-compelling spell. Water magic doesn't demand honesty.]
And I try not to let Najma near my hair. When we were younger it was a different story. She liked to play with my hair, and I usually did her hair for her. But now...
[Now she's got the power to do his hair in a silly way, take pictures, and send it to Kalim, absolutely not.]
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[ To that end, he's only been gentle. Careful, in a way Kalim never used to be. Idly stroking Jamil's hair, drifting higher and higher, until Kalim's fingertips can sink themselves into slow circles over his scalp instead. ]
It always feels nice when you do this for me. It's only fair to return the favor, right?
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[Jamil says, shifting his grip around Kalim to pull him in a little bit tighter, his eyes fluttering shut, a certain tension melting from his shoulders the more Kalim rubs, his head even leaning slightly into Kalim's touch. He supposes it might be just a little bit nice. Just a bit.]
But you don't need to return the favor, you know.
[Even if all signs point to Kalim having a tough time if he tries to wiggle loose.]
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[ Kalim chirps this answer, as if that's not the casual admission that he just wants to touch Jamil. Just because. Not because he's obligated to, but because Jamil's hair is soft, and he deserves to feel good. That's all the reason he needs.
Never mind that it seems to have the incidental effect of Jamil holding him more tightly still. That's just an added bonus. ]
Just let me pet your hair before you drown me, okay?
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[And just like that, the spell is...kind of...broken. His eyes open again. He stares at Kalim. He absolutely does nothing to stop Kalim from playing with his hair. There's no movement to keep him from playing with his hair. In the event Kalim moves his hand away, Jamil would even make a slightly offended noise. Not deliberately, but it would seep out before he can stop it.
But his eyes are open again.]
I was starting to think that you forgot about me drowning you.
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[ They're-- Are they cuddling? The realization dawns on Kalim like a freight train collision, and his fingers tremble -- still, for a fraction of a second -- while his face flushes deep and hot. They're cuddling. On Carpet. Jamil is holding him, Kalim is laying on him, playing with his hair. This seems so... normal. Especially for them. After all the turmoil, here they are. ]
Thank you. This is really nice.
[ It comes out before Kalim can stop it. So as long as he's leaning into brutal honesty...
It feels good, just to have you hold me.
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it's sad because all of my inboxes have a last tagged date that's around the same time
ALAS
i picked that version for a reason, minor key adds tragedy and mystery to it
drama! suspense!
i am v. dramatic and v. suspenseful
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